Self Improvement Information

Each of us, whether we choose to believe it or not, are responsible for our own happiness.  Have you ever heard the comment that “happiness is a state of mind?”

Our happiness and success is dictated by the thoughts we predominately think.  If we take responsibility for our own happiness and the thoughts we think, we will be moving in the right direction.  If you are in a position that you are not in a happy place in your life right now, then I have a few tips for you.

1.  What enters our minds repeatedly occupies our minds, but eventually it shapes our perception which shapes our reality.  Our minds absorb and reflects what we repeatedly expose it to.  We are constantly bombarding our minds with the events we attend, what we read, the music we listen to, the TV we watch, and the conversations we have with our family and friends.  What impact is that exposure having on our daily performances? 

2.  Our minds are, also, affected by our daydreams.  Daydreams are not just about warm and fuzzy things such as the next million we are going to make, or the fun we will have on our next vacation.  Many people’s daydreams are vivid mind movies about their debt, what will happen if they can’t make their mortgage payment, or what will happen to them if they lose their jobs.  All of these things shape our mind and become the blue print for our future.  What daydreams are you exposing your mind to on a daily basis?

3.  Not only are we making a deposit every day into the bank of our minds, we are exposing others to our behaviors, conversations, and attitudes every day.  What are we exposing other people to when they look at our behavior?

4.  There has been so much talk recently about the swine flu.  We are concerned about exposing ourselves to the viruses that make us physically sick.  We, also, protect our computers from viruses by buying antivirus protectors.  But what about the viruses of the mind?  They are more plentiful and more dangerous than the virus that attack our bodies and computers.

We live in a 24 hour news cycle.  We hear all the continuous updates about terrorism, bad economy, job losses, health care woes, just to name a few.  90% of what we see on TV and the newspaper is negative.  Negativity sells.  Is it really that important to stay abreast of all that mess?  Being exposed to all the negativity creates a negative view of the world and negative thought patterns in our minds.  If you don’t hear the news today are you in danger of missing that all important world or natural disaster?  I guarantee you, that if something “big” happens you will be told about it. 

The news can be addictive.  We hang on every word as though or world depended on each update.  Well, it does, but not in a way that will help you achieve fulfillment and happiness.

5.  Every day we live with indecent exposure.  No, I don’t mean that little old men are standing on the street corners flashing their raincoats open to show us their shriveled assets.  I am talking about the pollutants of our mind, body and soul.  Those things are; excuses, junk food, procrastination, violence, lack of integrity, inconsistencies, vulgar language and behaviors, fear, worry, lying, and mediocrity.  These are the robbers of our future.

Throughout every area of our lives it’s important to understand that ALL unfinished goals, projects and relationships are the result of broken promises, unfulfilled commitments, and lack of accountability.  Would you like to START doing the things you need to do, STOP doing the things you know you shouldn’t be doing and MAKE monumental performance gains that will change your life?  Gary Ryan Blair aka the goals guy has put together an exciting opportunity to change your life with the 100 Day Finish Strong Challenge.  It begins on September 23rd, which happens to be the final 100 days of the year.  He is giving away a free report and video that, in my opinion is worth its weight in gold!  Check it it here!

We are responsible for our own happiness.  We are also responsible for making this world a better place for all of us.  The only way to do this is to be mindful of our thoughts, be vigilant of the viruses that we expose ourselves to, and watch out for indecent exposures.  if we aren’t careful, those shriveled assets may turn out to be our minds.

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Each and every one of us has a need to have personality traits that  get along well with other people.  We need it, either professionally, socially, or both.  Unless a person lives in a cave and is satisfied with no human interaction I would suggest that social skills are important.  Let’s face it, our happiness and our wallets, aka income, depend on it.

Let’s take a look at the 3 different personality traits of people.  You may recognize some of these traits in someone you know.

1.  The empathetic people.  The extreme empathic person is usually best at one-on-one situations.  They enjoy one-person relationships and they don’t like change.  The empathetic person fears rejections and when the possibility of being rejected rears its ugly head, they react by becoming warmer and nicer.  In a business situation, it is more important to the empathetic person to have a friendship rather than a client.  When an empathetic person undergoes extreme stress, they will withdraw, become quiet, and get timid.  When they become depressed, they radiate negativity.  When they have to interact with the controller personality, they view them as a living, breathing monster!  They can’t relate to the controlling personality at all.  It is like oil and water.  Decision making can be difficult for this personality type.  The best thing they can do to encourage positive change is to take themselves out of their comfort zone and engage in activities where they will need to make decisions.  They could join group activities that encourage interaction with lots of different people.  It may be very difficult for this type person to want to leave their comfort zone.  They usually only do this if there is a reward to do so or extreme consequences for not doing it.

2.  The controller personality.  The extreme controller often comes across as overly aggressive, pushy and can become obnoxious.  If this person is in a sales position or management, they can be your worst nightmare.  They also fear rejection, losing control or being controlled by someone else.  When they sense this is happening, they attack.  Their idea of the best defense is an overpowering offense.  Under extreme stress they will get hostile and then become depressed.  They will vent their emotional anxiety by attacking other people’s characters, management, or the company.  They view the empathetic person as mousy and weak.  If they are too much of a controlling person they won’t be able to relate, at all, to an empathetic type of personality.  This type of person really needs to work on being warmer and develop more empathy skills.  When they have developed the ability to be warmer and more empathetic, they can be the best choice for helping an empathetic person make those buying decisions.

3.  The ideal personality.  You will recognize this person because of their “charisma”.  They relate well with all kinds of different people.  They adapt quickly to situations.  They radiate warmth.  They are usually very popular and sought out people.  They may have started out as either personality 1 or 2 but have grown into the ideal.  They have the ability to make decisions and are usually a good confidant and advisor.

If you have traits from personality 1 or 2, don’t be dismayed.  Life, after all, is a learning experience.  You can become anything you choose to become. Don’t let your comfort zone hold you back.  Step out and grow! 

You can really accelerate self improvement growth by setting goals.  The 7 day goal setting course is a great way to start.  Click here to find out more!

I stumbled across a little 20 minute movie the other day.  It is called the “Butterfly Circus”.  The movie takes place in the 1930s when America was locked into a deep depression.  It is a very thought provoking movie about hope and happiness.  It raised some questions for me and it answered some.

I remember going to the fair when I was a child and being fascinated by the “freak show”.  The three legged man, the very tiny lady, the tattooed man.  Since those shows are not part of the culture of the fairs and carnivals, now, I have often wondered if we have transferred that same curiosity  to reality TV.  I have wondered if reality TV is so popular because people want to believe someone is more screwed up then they are.  It seems like the same mentality as going to the freak show at the carnival.  To be politically correct, they would now be called “side shows”.

Those side shows in by gone days, like reality TV, are similar to taking a drink of salt water when you have been lost at sea for a week with no fresh water.  It might be what we feel we need at the moment to give us that momentary feeling of quenching our thirst (superiority), but in the long run it leaves us thirstier and more dehydrated.  But, as the owner of the Butterfly Circus says, “there is nothing inspiring about a man’s imperfection.”  When we watch these kinds of things, are we temporarily quenching our feelings of  our own imperfections and hopelessness?  Or,  are we locking ourselves into the despair of our own personal freak show?

Everyone of us has our own “stuff” to deal with.  That is life.  If looking at others “stuff” makes us feel better for a short time,is that harmful or just fun?  When we look at someone who is living a successful life we see their passion.  It is easy to only see that passion and not realize that they have had “stuff” to deal with also.  The most successful people have often times had the biggest pile of “stuff”to dig through.  A quote from the movie says it best, “The bigger the trial the more glorious the triumph”.

Through our adversities we find our strength.  If things are easy, and we are always carried, how can we learn to get up after a fall?  The best habit we can form is to surround ourselves with people who will encourage us but not carry us.

What we believe about ourselves colors our perceptions.  If we believe we live a “hard luck life” then that is the color we paint on every perception.  We make our choices by what we perceive and focus on.  We can focus on those that make fun of us, or we can focus on those that encourage us.

Maybe, we will never know why we encounter the challenges that we do.  I know others can find their own hope in seeing us conquer our challenges.  It gives them hope that they can, also,  overcome their adversities.  Like the caterpillar emerging from the cocoon as a butterfly, the growth is in the struggle.  If we make the mistake of letting someone else extract us from our cocoon, like the butterfly freed from its cocoon too early by the curious and helpful child,  our wings will never support our weight.  They will be withered, puny and we will never fly.

I encourage your to watch this 20 minute movie, The Butterfly Circus, and see what it means to you.  Leave me a comment.  I am interested in what you get out of the movie.