Archive for December, 2010

The 11 Things That Blow Up My Goals!

December 30th, 2010 3 comments

Ahhh, it’s that time of year again!  The old year is winding down.  It’s time to think of the new year ahead.  I get very itchy this time of year to sit down and evaluate my previous year and write my goals for coming year.

I know I’m not the only strange beast out there with this type of thought process.  I know many people are contemplating their New Year’s resolutions and goals.

There have been years, where I set my goals, and then one month, or less, into my goal period I fall flat.  My great intentions are as deflated as a balloon trapped in a cold car. I am down for the count, frustrated and wondering if there is anything to this goal setting crap!  Have you ever this way?

Here are 11 reasons why I have given up on my goals in the past.

1.   Disbelief that I can achieve it
2.   Setting goals for some other person’s dream
3.   Feeling unworthy of the outcome
4.   Lack of clarity
5.   Lack of self discipline
6.   Lack of desire
7.   Procrastination
8.   Unorganized
9.   Uncertainty
10.  Letting discouragement have its way with me
11.  Goal outcome doesn’t stir my passion

I have learned many things over the years.  I know that goal setting isn’t a once a year event.  It is a process of evaluation and resetting.

I have developed a better system for setting goal.

I am not as hard on myself if I have set backs.  I have to admit, I’m still working on this one.

I read them every day.  I celebrate the successes when they happen which feeds my belief in myself.

I set ones I must stretch and grow to meet.

Goals are action steps to take, which brings our vision for our lives to fruition. They are our ally and our friend.  They should be looked at with focus, determination, humor, and forgiveness.

After all, success is a journey and our goals are the lamp posts which light our way.

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Goals – Are They the Bitter Tasting Medicine for Success?

December 29th, 2010 No comments

This morning, I was going through the fridge pitching out the leftovers from our big Christmas dinner.  Seeing as it was a mindless domestic task, my mind got to wandering.  I started thinking about how close we are to starting a brand spanking’ new year. Did I accomplish my goals for last year?

Some people, I know, when rewinding their previous year and how their goals played out, the cat of nine tails comes out.  They get down on their knees, and give themselves 50 lashings.  They could have  had the best year of their life, but all they see are those dadgum pits in the cherry bowl!

I’m an optimist at heart.  I’m one of those people who annoy the stuff out of you, by looking for the best in everything and every one.

I firmly believe, if I can look at my previous year with optimistic objectivity, I can see room for improvement, celebrate my successes, and tune up my goals.  I’ll be on my way to my vision for my life.

Goals were designed to help us focus on what we want our lives to be.  They give us directions and a plan to move us towards our vision for our lives.  They add clarity to our vision.

If I beat myself up for the things I didn’t accomplish, I’ll make goal setting a drudgery and it will develop into another way to punish myself.

Goals are not punishment.  Many people treat them like the awful, bitter tasting medicine for success.  They hold their noses and pour it down their throats.  All the while, hoping, by doing this task their lives will improve.

Goal setting should be a joyous occasion!  The BEST goals are the ones that scare you a little and excite you a lot!  If done correctly, they will stir the passions in our lives!  I chose to see goals as the window cleaner for the mirror of my life.

I am going to sit down (now that the fuzzies are out of the fridge) and look at my 2010’s goals.  I’ll celebrate my successes, see if my vision has changed, and revamp my goals for an exciting a profitable 2011!

I stumbled across a personality test and report from Silva Method you might be interested in.  The quiz identifies your personality and the report explains how to set goals with your unique personality in mind.  Click here to check it out.

Are you wondering how to set effective goals?  Click here for the 7 day goal setting course.

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A Winning Formula for a Stress Free Christmas

December 20th, 2010 5 comments

Every one of us lives busy lives.  I have often felt like I was running a hundred miles an hour with my hair on fire!  I feel as though I’m juggling 10 balls in the air at the same time.  My life is stressful enough, then a holiday is added to it!  Christmas programs, parties, shopping, baking!  Yikes!

Have you ever felt like I just described?  I know most of us have.  This is a wonderful time of year when families get together to celebrate the birth of Christ and we turn it into a stress fest!  We end up being so stressed out we miss all the fun.  Sound familiar?

Here is a little formula I use and it works wonders for me.

N – No is a word I had to learn and use.  Saying no to the extra things, people, and stuff that stresses me out.  Will anyone notice if it isn’t done?  5 years from now will anyone remember I wasn’t in charge of it?
O – Organizing what I need to create our Christmas atmosphere.  Where the tree, lights, ornaments, paper, etc. are located.  I optimize my less stressful weekends during the year to organize my things.

S – Start small. I realized my family doesn’t care if I put on a big event.  They just want to enjoy me and being together at this time of year.
T – Target my important things.  If I know what’s important to my family, then I don’t have to stress about the unimportant things.
R – Release tension.  When I start to feel stress, I take time out for me.  I meditate or listen to soothing music.  15 minutes makes a mega difference for me!
E – Escape the stress for a short time.  My husband and I get away for a little time spent together.  If we are both stressed we become snappish.  No fun there!
S – Silliness and laughter.  There is nothing which breaks the stressful times better for me than a little laughter!
S – Security within myself.  I have realized, everything is fine in my world.  My family and friends love me just the way I am!

This is a beautiful time of year.  The gorgeous light displays and wonderful songs remind us of how important life really is, just the way it is.  Enjoy it!  Don’t stress.  Everything will be fine.

Here’s a cute little video to bring some laughter into your life!

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Secret Leadership Tip – Build a Partnership with Your Team

December 9th, 2010 No comments

There’s a little secret to effective team building.  A leader has 3 choices; either know this secret and uses it, know this secret and don’t believe it or use it, or is completely clueless to the secret.  What is this little powerful secret?  It is to know your team mates and treat them like your partners in business.  This means knowing more than just their name and position in your company.  Sounds easy doesn’t it?

I’m not talking about knowing all the dirt on your team mates.  That is gossip and completely ineffective unless you are leading by intimidation, which is a trait of an weak leader.  I am talking about knowing what’s important to them in their lives outside of work.  Who are they besides the position they hold at your company!

This isn’t a difficult task if you have a team of 3 or 4.  It’s easy to learn somethings about them.  The most effective leaders are those who know their team mates’ families; spouse, kids, dog/cat, the team sports their children may be playing, etc.

I have heard leaders say they don’t want to get to know their team mates very well, because they may have to fire them.  My answer to such nonsense is, if you knew them better they would integrate into the team more effectively, work up to your expectations, and you wouldn’t have a reason to fire them.  Make sense?

People spend most of their waking day at their jobs.  If they are merely a number or a position, why should they care?  If your team doesn’t care, things begin to happen.  Work efficiency slows down, office supplies disappear out of the closet at an amazing rate, and moral stinks!

Many years ago, I joined a very large company.  About 2 months into my tenure there, I was at a company meeting.  On a potty break, I ran into the CEO of the company in the hall.  Right away, he called me by name and asked how my spouse was.  He even called my spouse by his name.  He had only met me once before.  I was impressed.

He always had the ability to know all of us and recall immediately all the tidbits about us he had gleaned from our conversations.  He cared about each and everyone of us.  We were his partners in business.

Some of us may feel it is impossible to know every one’s information.  It becomes a surprisingly different task if we change the way we perceive our team mates.  If they are all our partners in business, the details about them become more important to us.

You might say, I can’t remember everyone because my memory isn’t that good.  If that’s what you think, than you are right.  I’m sorry you’ll have miss out on this very important secret. But, if you change your mind and decide to prioritize your memory skills this tip will change your team’s dynamics.

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7 Self Sabotaging Behaviors That Steal My Productivity!

December 7th, 2010 4 comments

This is a busy time of year.  I have my usual tasks or jobs.  But, all of a sudden, I find I have so much more to do.  My plate has gone from being pleasingly full, to heaping, and stuff falling off the edges and not getting done.

I begin to realize that I had better find a better way to prioritize, or get a bigger plate. I start to realize that I have been practicing self sabotage. If I don’t get a handle on it, I feel frustrated and overwhelmed.  Have you ever felt this way?

One thing I have figured out about myself.  When I get really busy, it is easy for me to fall into unproductive habits.  I start to feel like a hamster, spinning her wheel as fast as she can, and going no where!  I start experiencing negative feelings like frustration, and being overwhelmed.  Left unchecked, and I slide into being depressed!

I have found, I sabotage myself with certain behaviors.  I create impossible situations by taking on too much. The can’t say no syndrome. In the end, I get less done and everyone is frustrated with me.  By not saying no, I have let people count on me to get what they wanted me to do, done.

Here are a few of my self sabotaging antics which steal my focus and make me less productive.  See if you can relate.

1.  Misuse of Email.  Instead of pulling off the important information I need to complete my work, I start reading unimportant emails.  Then I am completely distracted.  I end up burning my productive time doing an unproductive activity.

2. The times that I procrastinate and put off doing important tasks I end up having to catch up later.  I know better.  The more I play catch up the longer it takes to reach my goals.

3. When I allow myself to get into the mentality of going from crisis to crisis.  I start thinking in the mode of crisis management.  Bad decisions are made in that mind set.

4. If I  start switching from one task to another without full concentration on any one task.  I get hopeless distracted.  I accomplish nothing. This is why multi-tasking doesn’t work for me.

5. I can really derail myself by allowing distractions such as day dreaming, stress, guilt, anger and frustration to decrease my concentration.  Again, nothing productive gets done.

6. When I don’t get quality sleep,  I feel tired.  I get into the caffeine trap.  Tired, more caffeine, tired, more caffeine.  My thinking is unclear and my production is low.

7. I am clear off the track if I start getting involved in other people’s dramas.  I really try to steer clear of this.  I don’t like my own drama, why should I participate in another person’s drama?

Learning to not self sabotage myself is a very important skill to master in my life. It adversely effects every area of my life. It not only leads to overwhelming frustration, stress, and guilt.  It also affects my ability to set and achieve effective my goals.

I know it takes self discipline, which is the key to getting myself back on the road to successful habits.  I am a person who enjoys keeping my plate pleasingly full.  I’m always working on mastering my productive work habits.  It always feel so good to accomplish my tasks.  Then I have time for distractions!

What do you do to master your day? Leave me a comment and let us know what helps you!

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Leadership Style – Is It Better To Have Control of Your Team?

December 2nd, 2010 No comments

Leadership is a challenging way of life.  Some people either don’t want to put the effort into learning to lead or they haven’t a clue why leadership is different.  Leadership is a very effective management style.  But, not the only management style.  Let’s look at the differences between a controlling manager and a leader.

It is easy when in the top position of a team, to put all the effort into control them instead of leading them.  This control is characterized by rules enforced with an iron fist.

Don’t misunderstand me.  There needs to be some kind of behavior standards for a team.  A better way to say it is a standard of excellence.  This standard of excellence is more concerned with the performance of the team and their results.  A leader, instead of being an enforcer, gives their team free rein to indulge in creative actions which will bring better results.

The controlling personality is more concerned with making sure the team is on time then they are to seeing the team’s creative solution to challenges.

A leader realizes it’s not about what happens when they’re with the team.  A leader builds a team which can function as well without the leader.  Perhaps, they can even function better.  Not because a leader is not there looking over their shoulder and controlling their actions.  They work to please the leader and themselves.  The team realizes it’s not just about the leader.

A controller will micro manage their team.  A sure sign of a controlling team manager is their lack of ability to leave their team mates alone to do their jobs.  A controller really doesn’t want their team to function better without them.  That is their worst nightmare!  Their thought is, if their team can function without them, someone will figure out they aren’t needed.

Another characteristic of a leader’s team is their ability to grow into a leadership position themselves.  It’s not because they have special talents or anything extra which the controller’s team doesn’t have.  It’s because they are free to bloom, discover themselves, and follow the example of an effective leader.

A controller’s team can languish, characterized by a lack of motivation.  They perform their duties under pressure.  A controller will make sure no one can ever take their job.  They will bully, intimidate and even fire anyone who looks able or willing to take over their position.

A leader is self assured in themselves and in their team’s abilities.  They enjoy recognizing their team.  This motivates the team!  They believe in their team and push them up.  The leader feels pride when their team can function without them.   They are not in fear of losing their position.  They know they are an intricate part of a well performing team.

There are many different management styles.  They’re as different as people can be.  A wise man once told me to develop my management style early.  Meaning, know what I would except and reject in my team performance.  To understand my standard of excellence so I could communicate it to the team.

We spend many hours in our day working to provide for our families.  There’s more enjoyment and feelings of accomplishment working on a team with an effective leader.  Isn’t it worth the effort to perfect your own leadership style?

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5 Pointers on Keeping a Positive Attitude

December 1st, 2010 No comments

I have learned over the years that perception plays a major part in our relationships with others and ourselves.  It plays an intricate role in our careers, the flow of money into our lives, and our enjoyment of our lives.  Maintaining a positive attitude is crucial to the colors we paint the perceptions of our lives.

Have you ever had a goal or dream that moved you so much you could hardly sleep at night?  We start out so excited and motivated by our great idea.  But, we allow ourselves to begin to focus on the negative aspects of them.  Before long, we have relegated our exciting idea to the should have, could have and would have part of our brain.  At that point, our idea is officially dead.

If we don’t cultivate our positive attitudes about our idea, we will begin the process of talking ourselves out of it.  We start out with little things, such as doubt that we can even accomplish it.

For instance, when we charge into the world of being an entrepreneur starting our own business, we can start some stinking thinking, such as, it takes too long to make money doing this.  There isn’t a quick money fix like there is when we start a traditional job.  Sometimes, we even slide into flawed thinking of telling ourselves that people like us just don’t make it big!

Here are a few pointers on how to keep ourselves positive so we can reap the rewards of success in our lives:


Instead of picking out our own faults and hammering ourselves about them, choose to focus on our attributes.  Think kindly of ourselves.  I believe that we are harder on ourselves than on anyone else.  We should be as kind to ourselves as we are to our partners, friends, or even our pets.  Words of encouragement to ourselves is very beneficial for all our endeavors.  If we learn to love ourselves more and are kinder to ourselves we can accomplish unbelievable things.


The average person drives 12,000 to 25,000 miles per year, which works out to 500 to 1,000 hours per year.  we  can plug in a motivational CD into our car every time we get behind the wheel.  Think how much more motivated and positive we would be!  We could be rolling around in our classroom on wheels.  Learning new things while we keep our positive attitude going.


Knowing more keeps us feeling better about what we are doing.  We can attend seminars and online training sessions in our field of endeavor.  Learn from the experts.  Write to those experts; ask questions, read their books and articles.  Listen to people with proven track records in the areas we are striving to succeed.


Did you realize that your income will be the average of the 4-5 people you associate with on a regular basis?  Instead of hanging out with the negative complainers and gossipers, we could choose to hang out with the people that are succeeding and are practicing success habits.


Clearly defined goals are a must.  We have to have a clear mental picture of what we want our lives to look like.  It is difficult to achieve something if we don’t know what it is or what it will look like when it is achieved.

The best time to reach our subconscious minds is to implant our visualized images of our goals first thing in the morning before getting out of bed.  Or, right before falling asleep at night.  Our subconscious minds are more open to programming at those times.  The subconscious mind is activated by affirmations and pictures we feed it in the present tense.

Picture in your mind the situations working out the way you want.  See yourself succeeding.  Some people use vision boards or journals as a good visualization tool.  I know people who keep their vision boards on the ceiling in their bedrooms so they can feast their eyes on the dreams when they first open their eyes!  I keep ours on the bathroom wall across from the toilet.  Be creative!

Keep in mind, all our dreams and goals are unique to each of us.  It is up to each of us to keep striving for them.  After all, when it is all said and done, it is about our own individual successes.  No one can make it happen for us.  We should keep feeding our own personal positive attitude muscle.  Like all muscles, they only get strong when we keep using them.  Let’s get out there and exercise them!

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