Self Improvement Information

Have you ever wondered why some people do the things they do?  How can we all experience the same thing but react to it in so many different ways?  Every one’s personality is geared differently.  If you could understand those differences, would it make your life easier?

We are all very different, individual people.  But, having said that, there really are just 4 personality types of people.  Each one of us is, most likely, a blend of all of these 4 personalities.  But, one personality type is the dominate one.  If we can understand those different types of people and which personality is the dominate one,  it might make our interaction with people just a little bit easier.  If you are in sales, this is imperative to understand.  I am going to cover the first one today.

 
ACTION PERSONALITY

These people are not hard to spot. They crave the spotlight. They take action!  They are the adventurous personality.  They like to do things their way.  Always looking for a new frontier.  They like to explore, are bored easily, and they believe that life is a wonderful game to play.  They approach life with a “can do” attitude.  Give them a problem or challenge and they will dive right in to find the solution.  They enjoy finding new ways to deal with challenges, always looking for new solutions.  Freedom is important to them and they abhor being fenced in.  Rules that don’t make sense should be broken.  Bells are for ringing, mountains are for climbing. Life is for living!

The Action personality is more concerned about what’s happening right now than in the future.  They enjoy adventurous hobbies, impulsive behavior, if it isn’t fun – forget it!  They are the personality most attracted to extreme sports.

They can easily ignore clutter.  They are generous, sharing, and helpful.  Waiting is a horrible experience.  They love fine tools, instruments and the artist’s brush.  Easily bored and restless. 

They learn by doing and experiencing.  They are naturally competitive, witty, and charming.  Defeats are temporary.  They are an exciting personality, light hearted and joyful.  Living life with the action personality can be exciting, but frustrating.  Goal setting is important to them, but their goals should always be fresh, creative, and action oriented. 

If you were to ask this person to accompany you on a trip they would jump right on it and say “let’s go!”

If you have seen the new Star Trek movie or you are a “trekkie” from way back, Captain Kirk would be a good example of this personality type.

My next article, I will be covering the next personality type.  Here is a clue to ponder in the meantime.  What do Oprah and June Cleaver have in common?

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When we are raising children, we always want to do what is best.  Positive parenting is about raising children that are not all the same.  The goal behind positive parenting is to raise children to become independent, loving adults.  Sometimes, in our quest for this, we get locked into a battle with our children because of our desire to have them conform.  This can be a dangerous.  We can get caught up in the idea that discipline means conforming.

When our daughter was born, my husband and I were brand new parents.  As my husband would say, “we had never been to that rodeo before.”  My husband’s side of the family were believers of “children should be seen and not heard”.  Our daughter is the poster child for the “strong willed child”.  It was very stressful at large family functions.  She has always been a non conformist.  As the pressure was turned up on us to make her conform the more she would “misbehave”.

We were faulted for many things including letting her dress herself.  She would wear some crazy things.  Because of her contrary nature, rather than butting heads 95% of the time, we read books on strong willed children.  We learned different techniques of positive reinforcement.  We learned that a child can say no without it being disrespectful.  She learned how to respectfully say no.  I learned that I wasn’t a bad parent because she had a mind of her own.

She had a hard time in school.  Conformity was always an issue.  If she was allowed free thought she did very well.  As time went on, she made it to high school.  When she was a senior, she tested positive for Attention Deficit Disorder.

The reason I am relaying this to you is that I know many of you are dealing with strong willed children.  Many of us have been raised with the “Iron Fist” of discipline, which doesn’t work with them.  It gets down to a decision.  Are we going to break the spirit of the strong willed child or are we going to guide them to adulthood where their strong will benefit them?

My daughter knows her own mind.  She still dresses with flair.  She’s never happier than when she is creating; painting, or sketching, or any thing that allows her artistic personality to bloom.  She is ruled by the right side of her brain.  She is and always will be a non conformist.  I have grown to love that about her. 

If you are in a situation with a contrary, non conformist child, remind yourself of all the people who changed this world in spite of or because of their individualism.  Albert Einstein was once thought of as having low intelligence.  Don’t mix up conforming with discipline.

Raising a strong willed, non conforming child is never easy, but it is worth it.  If you listen closely you can almost hear the beat of that different drummer that they are marching to that is so loud in their heads.  When it gets tough, remember that “this too shall pass.”  Keep finding and reinforcing the good in them.

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Each and every one of us has a need to have personality traits that  get along well with other people.  We need it, either professionally, socially, or both.  Unless a person lives in a cave and is satisfied with no human interaction I would suggest that social skills are important.  Let’s face it, our happiness and our wallets, aka income, depend on it.

Let’s take a look at the 3 different personality traits of people.  You may recognize some of these traits in someone you know.

1.  The empathetic people.  The extreme empathic person is usually best at one-on-one situations.  They enjoy one-person relationships and they don’t like change.  The empathetic person fears rejections and when the possibility of being rejected rears its ugly head, they react by becoming warmer and nicer.  In a business situation, it is more important to the empathetic person to have a friendship rather than a client.  When an empathetic person undergoes extreme stress, they will withdraw, become quiet, and get timid.  When they become depressed, they radiate negativity.  When they have to interact with the controller personality, they view them as a living, breathing monster!  They can’t relate to the controlling personality at all.  It is like oil and water.  Decision making can be difficult for this personality type.  The best thing they can do to encourage positive change is to take themselves out of their comfort zone and engage in activities where they will need to make decisions.  They could join group activities that encourage interaction with lots of different people.  It may be very difficult for this type person to want to leave their comfort zone.  They usually only do this if there is a reward to do so or extreme consequences for not doing it.

2.  The controller personality.  The extreme controller often comes across as overly aggressive, pushy and can become obnoxious.  If this person is in a sales position or management, they can be your worst nightmare.  They also fear rejection, losing control or being controlled by someone else.  When they sense this is happening, they attack.  Their idea of the best defense is an overpowering offense.  Under extreme stress they will get hostile and then become depressed.  They will vent their emotional anxiety by attacking other people’s characters, management, or the company.  They view the empathetic person as mousy and weak.  If they are too much of a controlling person they won’t be able to relate, at all, to an empathetic type of personality.  This type of person really needs to work on being warmer and develop more empathy skills.  When they have developed the ability to be warmer and more empathetic, they can be the best choice for helping an empathetic person make those buying decisions.

3.  The ideal personality.  You will recognize this person because of their “charisma”.  They relate well with all kinds of different people.  They adapt quickly to situations.  They radiate warmth.  They are usually very popular and sought out people.  They may have started out as either personality 1 or 2 but have grown into the ideal.  They have the ability to make decisions and are usually a good confidant and advisor.

If you have traits from personality 1 or 2, don’t be dismayed.  Life, after all, is a learning experience.  You can become anything you choose to become. Don’t let your comfort zone hold you back.  Step out and grow! 

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