Archive for the ‘Conflict’ Category

Are the Demotivators Keeping Your Life in Conflict?

October 16th, 2009 No comments

gold_medal_smDo you sometimes feel that you are being pulled in all kinds of directions, all at the same time?  We have access to the entire world happenings, 24/7/365.  As if juggling our jobs, families, and friends weren’t enough, we’re bombarded by a world of 24 hour news.  Our demotivators and stress no longer comes from what is happening in our tiny corner of the world, but what is happening all over the earth. 

Many of us have been programmed to dwell on the demotivators in life.  Those demotivators are; self doubt, fear of failure, loss of security and the pain of change.  We can become so wrapped up in the demotivators that we live in constant conflict.  The conflict comes from striving to achieve the things that motivate us, while at the same time, we are immobilized by the demotivators.  That causes extreme frustration and increases our anxiety. 

What happens when someone becomes extremely frustrated and anxious?  They have definitely left their comfort zone and have embarked on a trip through “the danger zone”.  That is the place where the person will either withdraw or get hostile. When a person withdraws, they become depressed.  When a person gets hostile is when things can escalate to the physical.  Any way that you slice the bread, the danger zone is where misunderstandings can flourish.

Successful people handle the demotivators in another way.  For one thing, they don’t focus on them.  Emotionally stable, successful people don’t withdraw or get hostile, they become creative.  They are goal setters.  They focus on what motivates them.

Many of us have heard of the Law of Attraction.  It is a very popular buzz word in today’s world.  Of course, it has always been around and successful people have understood this law before it was chic.  They understand that what you focus on grows.  They practice self discipline when it comes to their thoughts.  As Napoleon Hill said in his book Think and Grow Rich, “Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts.  If you don’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do.”

A few changes in thoughts can take a person from being a committed non achiever to a champion achiever.  Here are a few changes that we can make when we start feeling emotions that are not taking us in the right direction. 

 Committed Non Achievers    Versus         Champion Achievers

 Personal Rejection                                        Learn, Change, Laugh, Practice, Win
 Withdraw or Hostile                                      Get creative

 Quit                                                               Try a new way

 Dwell on negative emotions                          Find and cultivate positive  emotions

Something I learned from Tom Hopkins is that the “major key to keeping your desire and attitude is to audibly use self-instructions whenever you suffer any emotional pain or rejection.”

Here 5 statements you can say with feeling that will help:

1.  I never see failure as failure, but only as A LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

2.  I never see failure as failure, but only as THE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK I NEED TO CHANGE COURSE IN MY DIRECTION.

3.  I never see failure as failure, but only as THE OPPORTUNITY TO DEVELOP MY SENSE OF HUMOR.


5.  I never see failure as failure, but only as THE GAME I MUST PLAY TO WIN.

Life is a learning experience.  To choose to succeed in life is to choose to live by what Tom Hopkins calls the Champion Creed;  “I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed.  And the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep trying!”

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