Archive for the ‘Goal Setting’ Category

How to Beat the Evil Twin of Success Also Known as Discouragement

March 29th, 2011 No comments

Goals and dreams are exciting!  They can light up our world.  They give us a reason to put our feet on the floor every morning.  Along with goals and dreams comes the polar opposites of discouragement and failure.  Everyone, no matter who you are have been, or will be subjected to them.

The difference between our successes and failures is how we each handle discouragement.  I have a dear friend, who when faced with failure, becomes fatally discouraged and quit whatever they were doing and latch securely onto the expressions, “I can’t”, I wasn’t born to do this”, or my all time favorite (I say with all the sarcasm I can muster) “It’s always been this way, why should I change?”

I heard a speaker once say, “if someone had a gun to the head of one of your children, would you just lay down and quit, say you can’t do it and let it go?” Most of us would say, “hell no!” But, when we let our dreams and goals go without a fight and slump into fatal discouragement, isn’t that exactly what we are doing?

Someone might not be, literally, holding a gun to the head of one of children.  But if we don’t learn how to deal with frustration and discouragement isn’t that a lesson our children are learning from us, which can eventually put a stop to their dreams and goals in their lives?

Face it, our kids watch us and how we deal with love, success, freedom, discipline, discouragement and frustration, just to name a few.  We are walking, talking lessons in life, whether we like it or not.

One of things I ask myself when I’m in the throes of discouragement and despair, is my goal or objective worthy or should I let it go? The more attached I am to my goal or objective, the easier it is to say “hell no, I’m not giving up!”

The second thing I ask myself is a perspective question.  If I can get through my discouragement, in 5 years what will I remember the most? The agony of the discouragement or the thrill of victory!

The third thing I ask myself is, how can I get around my discourage, work through it, or blast it out of my way? Once my mind is made up that I’m not going to quit, the discouragement melts away.  Resolve replaces it.  Solutions become apparent.

Life is journey!  It isn’t always easy, but it is worth it.  As Bob Proctor would day,  “Lack and limitation can only exist when we make room for them in our mind.” The same is true for discouragement.  Isn’t discouragement just another lack and limitation?  Doesn’t discouragement breed a lack of motivation and limits success?  The next time you face the evil twin of success, ask yourself the three question.  You might be surprised by your answers.

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Does It Take More Than Goals to Engineer My Success?

January 18th, 2011 16 comments

I had a great day yesterday.  I was pumped!  I had a very productive Monday, a great start to my week.  I felt like I was in alignment with the goals I had set for my success filled year.  I received an email from someone who was talking about how yesterday, my productive yesterday, was being referred to as “Blue Monday”.

“Blue Monday” is the day when the holidays are over and the credit card bills begin to roll in.  People are in a funk.  This funk, Blue Monday, was reported, again, on the 10:00 pm news.  2 completely different sources were reporting this phenomenon.

It got me to thinking, how many people get sucked into the herd mentality of being depressed on this particular Monday?  If I allowed myself to get sucked into the herd mindset, I would have missed my amazing day!

I realized I can engineer my year any way I want.  I can’t expect the economy to get better, or the alignment of the stars to be just right, for my great year.  I have to get better!  I have to improve my skills.  It isn’t an outside thing, it’s an inside thing.

A few days ago, I was  listening to a video talking about “Income Engineering”.  I like that.  Don’t we all want to improve our incomes this year?  Isn’t it more exciting to know it is each of us who can engineer a better income for ourselves, not outside forces?

The video said to engineer our income we need to know, and do 3 things.

1.  What to do
2.  How to do it
3.  Where to do it

I understand this!  If I want to engineer my income to better heights, I need to do all 3 things, not 2, not 1, but all 3.

To do this, I will need to sort out the information, which is constantly bombarding my brain.  I will need to sort out my activities.  Sorted into meaningful information and activities and meaningless information and activities.  The question then becomes, how do I do this on an ongoing basis?  How do I know what is meaningful and meaningless?

The answer lies in my goals.  It isn’t enough to set smart goals.  I will need to send all information and activities through my mental filter.  If it doesn’t move me towards my goals, it is a meaningless activity or information!

I read an article by Jon Gordon.  He said if we want to have a great year, we will need to simplify.  We can look at our goals and what we want to do this year and come up with a word, just one word, which “will represent the essence of what we hope to accomplish and who we want to be.”  It is not a word picked out randomly, but with thought and prayer.  His word for the year is “purpose”.  He has this word, visible, where he can see it and think about it every day.

I like this idea.  After much thought and consideration, I chose the word “focus”.  I realized to get done what I want to do this year, I need to focus.  Focus like I have never done before…with mind bending intensity!

I believe in income engineering.  I, also, believe to achieve my idea of the income and business I want to grow this year, I will have to step away from the herd mentality.  No one can pick a day where I should be “blue and depressed”.

I, also know, I can’t change the U. S. economy.  I can only change my economy.  To do this, I need to upgrade and develop better skills.  I will need to follow the 3 income engineering steps and add my 4th one…just do it!

To “do it”, means to have the guts to do whatever it takes, and to endure whatever comes my way, to hit the mark I have set for myself!

My challenge for you, should you want to have a unbelievably profitable year, is to find your word that speaks to you.  Share it with us.

Feel free to pass this on.  Tweet it, pass on to your network of friends on Facebook.  The way to change to the world, is to change each individual world, until it changes the whole world!

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Why Can’t I Stick to My Goals?

January 11th, 2011 No comments

Many of us have started our new year out with some pretty exciting goals.  As we are drawing them up, they excite us.  We know, if we can accomplish our goals for this year, we’ll be on way to having what we want!…Two weeks later, we’re dead in the water.

What happened to the excitement?  The “can do” attitude?  What happened to changing the world?

We get so down about it.  Feel like failures.  Why can’t we stick to our goals or resolutions?

When we fail to accomplish our goals, very rarely is it the fault of the goals we set.  If they were exciting to us when we set them, it would make sense the goals were right on the mark, just waiting to be accomplished.

The problem lies in us and our self image.  Most of us are, literally, prisoners to the idea of what others think about us.  Instead of forming a clear mental picture of who we really are, we accept the picture others have of us. We are only a waitress, a bricklayer, a fireman, a housewife….you fill in the blank because I know you have heard all of it before.

Because we are pack creatures, and need to get along with others to survive, we will do whatever we have to do to be accepted by them. We allow others to tell us who we are, and what we can accomplish in life.  In other words, our identity.  We haven’t reached our goals because our identity trumps goals any day of the week!

To add to this picture we carry around of ourselves, we add all the mistakes we’ve made, and most importantly, how people react to us when we made them.

Have you ever made a decision to do something, then made the mistake of telling others what you were going to do.  Did the people around you say, “you’ll never do that”, “people like us don’t have success like that”, “you’ve already tried _______, and look where it got you”.  Sound familiar?  At this point, we tuck our tails between our legs and creep away, goals forgotten.

If we are, really, wanting to achieve our goals, we’ll need to change what we think of ourselves, aka self image.  Have you ever heard of BDH?  It stands for Be it, Do it, Have it.

When preparing goals, it’d be better to work it backwards.  Who would I have to be to have this goal in my life?  How would that person accomplish this goal?

It’s as if you’re seeing yourself in a different way, and what your life would look like if you had the goal in your life.  Who do you have to become on the inside to support having the goal?

Until we change our self image to match our goals, our goals will remain outside of our reach.  As a wise man once said, “never let what’s most important to become a slave to what’s least important.  What’s most important is how I see me, what’s least important is what others think.”

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Goals – Are They Only a Figure of Speech?

January 4th, 2011 3 comments

This time of year, everyone is talking about their goals.  They might call them New year’s resolutions, intentions, or commitments for the coming year.

Yesterday, I was out and about with a friend.  We stopped by a neighborhood coffee house to indulge in a delicious steaming cup of hot chocolate on a cold day.  As we were leaving and preparing to get into our car, a man in a white minivan pulled up.  He was going to attempt to park in the spot next to ours.  It would be a very close fit.  The gentleman rolled down his window and said, “is that your goal?”

It took me a minute to realize, he was talking about a goal of me getting into the car.  Obviously, he was wanting to let us get into our car before he squeezed his big beast into the spot next to us.  I thought it was very considerate of him, but an odd phrasing to his question.

This got me thinking.  Do most people only give lip service to making goals?  Do some people use it in their figure of speech and nothing more?

Many of us start the year with great plans, but as time goes on, don’t accomplish them.  We start out gung ho to lose weight, get a better job, earn more money, and by the second week, we are cruising down the same well worn path as before.

Setting goals is a worthy activity.  I read somewhere, when making goals, “think it than ink it”.  I know many people talk about goals, like my experience with the man in the minivan.  When it comes right down to writing those goals down, it is a different story.  Goals, not written down, have a 98% chance of failure.

Goals were devised to help us plot a course towards our crystallized and clarified vision for our lives. As Jesse Stoner Zemel said, “A vision is a clearly-articulated, results-oriented picture of a future you intend to create. It is a dream with direction.”

But, what if we have written our goals and still nothing happens?  Is it the fault of our goals setting?  Could it be that our vision is either not clear, or we are actually visualizing worst case scenarios in our minds, instead of where our goals want us to be?

I have a friend who always tells me, “I always picture the worst thing that could happen in my mind so I am not disappointed when it happens.  If it doesn’t, and something good happens, I am happy.” When a pessimistic statement such as this is made, are we shocked?  Or, do we think like that even though we might not give it voice?

If we set our goals and we don’t stick to them, or they don’t happen,  it could be lack of self discipline.  Or, our image of ourselves, and the way we live our lives, is not congruent with our goals?

When we set a goal of a 10% increase in our earnings for this coming year, but we don’t feel worthy of making more money, it won’t happen.  Holding a belief about ourselves, which is different than what we are longing for, or believing money is bad, are two beliefs which creates friction within ourselves.  We won’t make any lasting progress until we change our belief about money and/or our self image about having it.

As I look at the goals I made last year and what I accomplished, I can see a pattern.  I can see where my beliefs aren’t congruent with my goals.  If I try to bull doze my way toward them, I will only push them away because of the resistance it sets up in myself.  If I have a goal, but don’t have the belief system to support it, I will fail.

One of the wondrous things about setting goals every year and writing them down is the ability to look at them over and over again.  We can revisit them daily.  With each visit, we can commit ourselves to our vision of the life we want our goals to lead us to.  The next year, when it is time to revamp and set new goals, we can look at them, and see a pattern we should deal with.

Shouldn’t goals be more important than just a figure of speech?

Leave me a comment below about what you are doing to position yourself to achieve your goals. Also, Let me know how I can be of service to you to help you reach your goals?

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The 11 Things That Blow Up My Goals!

December 30th, 2010 3 comments

Ahhh, it’s that time of year again!  The old year is winding down.  It’s time to think of the new year ahead.  I get very itchy this time of year to sit down and evaluate my previous year and write my goals for coming year.

I know I’m not the only strange beast out there with this type of thought process.  I know many people are contemplating their New Year’s resolutions and goals.

There have been years, where I set my goals, and then one month, or less, into my goal period I fall flat.  My great intentions are as deflated as a balloon trapped in a cold car. I am down for the count, frustrated and wondering if there is anything to this goal setting crap!  Have you ever this way?

Here are 11 reasons why I have given up on my goals in the past.

1.   Disbelief that I can achieve it
2.   Setting goals for some other person’s dream
3.   Feeling unworthy of the outcome
4.   Lack of clarity
5.   Lack of self discipline
6.   Lack of desire
7.   Procrastination
8.   Unorganized
9.   Uncertainty
10.  Letting discouragement have its way with me
11.  Goal outcome doesn’t stir my passion

I have learned many things over the years.  I know that goal setting isn’t a once a year event.  It is a process of evaluation and resetting.

I have developed a better system for setting goal.

I am not as hard on myself if I have set backs.  I have to admit, I’m still working on this one.

I read them every day.  I celebrate the successes when they happen which feeds my belief in myself.

I set ones I must stretch and grow to meet.

Goals are action steps to take, which brings our vision for our lives to fruition. They are our ally and our friend.  They should be looked at with focus, determination, humor, and forgiveness.

After all, success is a journey and our goals are the lamp posts which light our way.

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Goals – Are They the Bitter Tasting Medicine for Success?

December 29th, 2010 No comments

This morning, I was going through the fridge pitching out the leftovers from our big Christmas dinner.  Seeing as it was a mindless domestic task, my mind got to wandering.  I started thinking about how close we are to starting a brand spanking’ new year. Did I accomplish my goals for last year?

Some people, I know, when rewinding their previous year and how their goals played out, the cat of nine tails comes out.  They get down on their knees, and give themselves 50 lashings.  They could have  had the best year of their life, but all they see are those dadgum pits in the cherry bowl!

I’m an optimist at heart.  I’m one of those people who annoy the stuff out of you, by looking for the best in everything and every one.

I firmly believe, if I can look at my previous year with optimistic objectivity, I can see room for improvement, celebrate my successes, and tune up my goals.  I’ll be on my way to my vision for my life.

Goals were designed to help us focus on what we want our lives to be.  They give us directions and a plan to move us towards our vision for our lives.  They add clarity to our vision.

If I beat myself up for the things I didn’t accomplish, I’ll make goal setting a drudgery and it will develop into another way to punish myself.

Goals are not punishment.  Many people treat them like the awful, bitter tasting medicine for success.  They hold their noses and pour it down their throats.  All the while, hoping, by doing this task their lives will improve.

Goal setting should be a joyous occasion!  The BEST goals are the ones that scare you a little and excite you a lot!  If done correctly, they will stir the passions in our lives!  I chose to see goals as the window cleaner for the mirror of my life.

I am going to sit down (now that the fuzzies are out of the fridge) and look at my 2010’s goals.  I’ll celebrate my successes, see if my vision has changed, and revamp my goals for an exciting a profitable 2011!

I stumbled across a personality test and report from Silva Method you might be interested in.  The quiz identifies your personality and the report explains how to set goals with your unique personality in mind.  Click here to check it out.

Are you wondering how to set effective goals?  Click here for the 7 day goal setting course.

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The 4 Things that are Stealing Our Goals and Dreams

November 30th, 2010 7 comments

Humans always seem to want more.  Ever noticed this? It is our nature.  We have the ability, if we want, to have more, do more and be more.  To accomplish our goals and dreams.  We can rise to the occasion. This is because of the WIIFM factor. Also known as the what’s in it for me factor.

I have been blessed to live in a capitalistic society.  I hope this last for all of my life.  In our capitalistic society, we have the opportunity to be whatever we want to.  The system is in place to allow us to live the life of our dreams!

When we don’t live the life of our dreams, there is usually something standing in our way.  Have you ever wondered what’s holding you back?  Here are a few reasons that might ring true.


We all dream our dreams.  When we pull the wishbone on the Thanksgiving turkey and make our wish, we all know what we would love to have, do, or be. All of us have a handful of things we would like to have happen when we win the lottery.

But, when it comes down to the investment of the sweat equity it takes to go after our dreams, it’s too easy to choke.  We stall out like a jet plane and let out dreams crash.  We allow fear to dictate what we accomplish.

You know those fears; fear of failure, fear of success, fear our friends won’t like us any more if we become successful, fear of change, fear of responsibility. Fear, Fear, Fear!!  Yikes!

Isn’t fear really just false evidence appearing real?  The things that frighten us rarely come true.  If we do what we fear, the death of fear is certain.


We allow people to rob us of what we want.  How do they do it?  They tell us why it won’t work.  How silly of us to think we could actually have our dream.  They give us every reasons it can’t work.

It’s like two baskets of crabs on a Louisiana dock.  One crab basket has only one crab in it and the other crab basket is filled with lots of crabs.  If we only had one lid, do you know which basket we should put it on?  The logical choice would seem to be the second basket.  Right?  It only makes sense, we wouldn’t want to lose the most crabs.

Louisiana fishermen are wise.  They would tell you to put the lid on the basket with the one crab.  No crabs can escape from the second basket.  Each time a crab gets close to climbing out, there is another crab to pull it back down into the basket.

People can be like those crabs.  When we start to achieve our goals and dreams there is usually someone there to tell you why we can’t.

My advice, get the heck away from them!  Run, don’t walk!  Instead, hang out with other people who are working towards their goals and dreams.


This is mega huge!  If you believe you can or you can’t you are right.  It’s all about belief. To move in the right direction towards your dreams and goals you have to be able to suspend your disbelief.  This is called faith.


Most talented people who don’t accomplish their dreams and goals are focused on the wrong things.  They focus on the struggle, their illnesses, friend’s problems, family issues, lack of money, etc.  We’re creatures of attraction.  What we focus on grows.

This one dovetails into the lack of belief.  Many times we are focused on why we can’t do something.  Then we begin to just settle.  Settle for a cheaper car, a less expensive house, a lower paying job.  We allow adversities of life to dictate our dreams, instead of rising above it and pushing forward.

We need to be bold!  Listening to others and playing it safe won’t get us the life of our dreams.  Make bold decisions and choices!  Risk can equal reward.  It’s not an overnight solution.  But, it’s worth the effort!  Life will give us what we are willing to fight for!

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