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When is Change Really Bad for Me?

March 14th, 2011 9 comments

Change can be a disquieting thing.  We have a picture, in our rec room, of the 1927 Saturday Evening Post cover with a cowboy affectionately called “Lonesome Luke”.  The caption underneath the pictures says, “Just when I learned the dance, they changed the music.” Have you ever felt like Luke?

It seems our world is rushing past us with change on ever corner.  We can feel like change is against us.  We can suffer what we perceive as “bad” life changing events, which can throw us into a tailspin of disaster!  Even with the worst changes, what makes it bad?

We would all agree, changes which lead to death and loss are not desirable.  We wouldn’t seek out the seeds of change that drops us into destruction.  They happen anyway.

Change is a constantly flowing river.  It can’t be stopped.  The only thing which can be altered about change, is the way it’s perceived.  If you can’t choose your own change, could you see it as the force to move forward? wouldn’t it be more palatable?  If you knew with every storm laden change in your life there was a silver lining, also known as a change for the better.

Change is neither good nor bad.  It just is.  How I chose to react to change defines me.  If I decide to accept every change as “somewhere in this change in my life is a kernel of good”, would it make me a Pollyanna?  Is that bad?

You may say, there isn’t anything good about a tsunami hitting the coast of Japan.  Lives were lost, property was destroyed.  All of us would agree, “that stinks”!  But, if we chose to look for the kernel of good, could we find it?  Maybe, people helping people through life changing events.  There are always miracle stories that come out of tragedy.

Life isn’t always easy. It isn’t fair. Sometimes, it isn’t even fun!  When I’ve chosen to look beyond the obvious stink factor, I’ve always found the bright kernal of success.  If you and I choose to look at any business, or life failure, as a learning experience and another way it doesn’t work, couldn’t we polish up the failure to be a bright shining star that lights the pathway to success? Kind of a change your brain, change your life” thing.  What if more people did this, could it change the world?

I’m not here to convince you to be an optimist.  Only you are in control of your predominate attitude.  What I am saying is, the next time you are down in the dumps because something failed, and the music changed, try looking for the good, that bright shiny kernel of success.  You might just find it!

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5 Pointers on Keeping a Positive Attitude

December 1st, 2010 No comments

I have learned over the years that perception plays a major part in our relationships with others and ourselves.  It plays an intricate role in our careers, the flow of money into our lives, and our enjoyment of our lives.  Maintaining a positive attitude is crucial to the colors we paint the perceptions of our lives.

Have you ever had a goal or dream that moved you so much you could hardly sleep at night?  We start out so excited and motivated by our great idea.  But, we allow ourselves to begin to focus on the negative aspects of them.  Before long, we have relegated our exciting idea to the should have, could have and would have part of our brain.  At that point, our idea is officially dead.

If we don’t cultivate our positive attitudes about our idea, we will begin the process of talking ourselves out of it.  We start out with little things, such as doubt that we can even accomplish it.

For instance, when we charge into the world of being an entrepreneur starting our own business, we can start some stinking thinking, such as, it takes too long to make money doing this.  There isn’t a quick money fix like there is when we start a traditional job.  Sometimes, we even slide into flawed thinking of telling ourselves that people like us just don’t make it big!

Here are a few pointers on how to keep ourselves positive so we can reap the rewards of success in our lives:

BE KIND AND ENCOURAGING TO OURSELVES

Instead of picking out our own faults and hammering ourselves about them, choose to focus on our attributes.  Think kindly of ourselves.  I believe that we are harder on ourselves than on anyone else.  We should be as kind to ourselves as we are to our partners, friends, or even our pets.  Words of encouragement to ourselves is very beneficial for all our endeavors.  If we learn to love ourselves more and are kinder to ourselves we can accomplish unbelievable things.

PLUG INTO DAILY MOTIVATION

The average person drives 12,000 to 25,000 miles per year, which works out to 500 to 1,000 hours per year.  we  can plug in a motivational CD into our car every time we get behind the wheel.  Think how much more motivated and positive we would be!  We could be rolling around in our classroom on wheels.  Learning new things while we keep our positive attitude going.

KEEP LEARNING OUR CRAFT

Knowing more keeps us feeling better about what we are doing.  We can attend seminars and online training sessions in our field of endeavor.  Learn from the experts.  Write to those experts; ask questions, read their books and articles.  Listen to people with proven track records in the areas we are striving to succeed.

HANG OUT WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE

Did you realize that your income will be the average of the 4-5 people you associate with on a regular basis?  Instead of hanging out with the negative complainers and gossipers, we could choose to hang out with the people that are succeeding and are practicing success habits.

CLARITY AND VISUALIZATION

Clearly defined goals are a must.  We have to have a clear mental picture of what we want our lives to look like.  It is difficult to achieve something if we don’t know what it is or what it will look like when it is achieved.

The best time to reach our subconscious minds is to implant our visualized images of our goals first thing in the morning before getting out of bed.  Or, right before falling asleep at night.  Our subconscious minds are more open to programming at those times.  The subconscious mind is activated by affirmations and pictures we feed it in the present tense.

Picture in your mind the situations working out the way you want.  See yourself succeeding.  Some people use vision boards or journals as a good visualization tool.  I know people who keep their vision boards on the ceiling in their bedrooms so they can feast their eyes on the dreams when they first open their eyes!  I keep ours on the bathroom wall across from the toilet.  Be creative!

Keep in mind, all our dreams and goals are unique to each of us.  It is up to each of us to keep striving for them.  After all, when it is all said and done, it is about our own individual successes.  No one can make it happen for us.  We should keep feeding our own personal positive attitude muscle.  Like all muscles, they only get strong when we keep using them.  Let’s get out there and exercise them!

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Is a Positive Attitude Really THAT Important to A Team?

September 10th, 2010 1 comment

The other day, I was browsing through a catalog and I ran across a sign that said, “the beatings will continue until morale improves”.  A little  bit of tongue in cheek humor.  Or is it?  It got me thinking about the two different management styles; positive versus negative.

Many managers make the mistake of passing on their frustrations, problems and disappointments to those who work for them.  They may be naive, or terribly misinformed, if they believe that people will work harder when they have had a good butt chewing.  They may also believe that if they, the manager, gets chewed out by the higher ups, they should be able to pass that frustration down to the people on their team.  It’s only fair, right?  This ideology is far from the truth.

There is nothing more demoralizing to a team than to catch their leader’s bad attitude.  Face it.  When a leader shows hurt, frustration, and disappointment, that attitude will pass down to their team like a cancer, rotting away all goals and  possible productivity.

People will not follow, long term, a negatively charged individual.  A negative leader will always drain the team’s battery.    The leader will be plagued by people problems.  Before long, the moral will be in the dumpster, and the team will avoid the leader.  The team will know they don’t feel good when they are around the leader.  It is never possible for a negative leader to have a positive team.

A positive leadership trait is to always pass nothing but positive things down to their team.  A leader can never, ever, show hurt.  They must always strive to stay positive.  I have heard the excuse, “but, I don’t feel positive all the time”.  Here’s a newsflash…no one does.  We all have our down days.  When suffering from a down day, it is best to either change how you are feeling, or get away from the team. The team wants, and needs, to hear how excited their leader is about the business and how great they feel about the future.  People need to feel excited and motivated and the leader sets the pace.

If a person finds themselves leading from the negative side, consciously becoming aware of what is being said around the team is the first step.  After realizing what is said, the next step is to change the attitude.  To change our attitude we must first change our state.  I am including a Tony Robbins 7 minute speech about changing your state. It goes hand in hand with today’s topic.  Enjoy!

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Is Positive Thinking Poisoning Our World?

February 10th, 2010 No comments

I was surfing around looking for self improvement topics that would add value for my twitter peeps.  I came across an article that really made me think.  It is called “Wishing It Don’t Make it So”. In this article, about an author by the name of Barbara Ehrenreich.  The premise of the article is that positive thinking is the cause of many unnatural and “bad things” that have befallen the United States.  Wow!  Doesn’t that statement make you sit up in your chair?!

The 2nd paragraph of the article says,

“In isolation, each of these facts may cause no more than mild disquiet, a sense that the harsher realities of life are being brushed aside. In fact, as a U.S. journalist and campaigner Barbara Ehrenreich has discovered, they are all manifestations of the ubiquity of positive thinking in the United States. When she began to put the pieces together, they revealed a nation in the grip of a collective delusion that does damage to people’s lives all the way from corporate boardrooms to those struggling with house repossessions and poverty.”

The article is written about someone who is from a very liberal or progressive bias.  In this article, my understanding of the premise, is that positive thinking is a negative and leading all of us down the garden path to global destruction.  Positive thinking has become so pervasive that “Anyone who was critical or unable to “get with the plan”, was got rid of, until there were no canaries left in the mine.” In other words, positive thinking has made it impossible for whistle blowers to do what they are suppose to do.  If anyone thinks negatively, they are cast out of corporate American and treated like lepers.

I have a hard time believing that all negative people have been thrown out of corporate America or are forced to change into beams of positive light.   If you aren’t  sunshine and lollipops there is no room for you in the corporate world.  My experience in the corporate world has been that really isn’t the case.

There is nothing wrong with feeling negative thoughts in the face of cancer, job losses, illness and death of loved ones.  Those are natural emotions born of frustration and loss of control in one’s life.  Those feeling should be honored.  But, to suggest that we all walk around raging about the dirty hand that life has dealt us, over and over again, seems to be a fruitless endeavor. Isn’t there enough negatives in our lives without listening to some one else?  If I was battling breast cancer, I certainly wouldn’t want to absorb someone else’s negativity.  That wouldn’t help keep my hope alive.  Reading someone on a forum talking about “sappy pink ribbons” seems like a personal affront to the Susan G.Komen for the cure movement.

I must say, that the “thinking only positive thoughts” might be a goal of some people and is taught in the self improvement industry, it rarely happens that someone is always positive, nor should they be.  The danger of that philosophy, that we attract negative things if we think negative thoughts, is the guilt that can be felt for not thinking positive and having the negative things happen to us.  We do need to take responsibility for our own lives.  To think that everything that happens to us is random is to leave us impotent and self victimized.  Rather than feeling guilt for the maladies that befall us “due to negative thinking” it would seem more productive to watch for the lessons in life that we can learn from experiencing the negative.

The natural order of things is that there are polar differences.  For every negative, there is a positive.  By experiencing negative things we can also experience the positive.  Isn’t whether something is negative or positive a matter of perspective?  Couldn’t one person’s job loss turn into an opportunity for something better?

Even the loss of our loved ones can have blessings wrapped deep inside the feelings of sadness and grief. But, is grief really a bad thing?  It may not feel the best, but to have loved someone so much that you miss them when they are gone is not a negative thing.  We shouldn’t stop loving because we may face grief later by their loss.

Call me Pollyanna.  You wouldn’t be the first.  I would say “thank you”.  To be able to turn the darkness into light doesn’t mean that you are deranged or hopelessly maladjusted.  I say, “live and let live”.  If you wish to choose the negative, that is your choice.  I, personally would rather look for the kernels of hope…after I have railed at my misfortune.

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Will Smith – The Wisdom Behind His Success

January 15th, 2010 1 comment

will smith #2I love studying successful people like Will Smith.  Studying people that have risen to great heights in their field of endeavor is motivational and inspirational.  That, alone, has great worth.  What is of greater worth, is by studying great people who have done amazing things, it is possible to uncover the pattern or “blue print” for success. By discovering that blue print we can figure out how to replicate it for our own success and achievements.

I believe that when we have the goal and the desire to make a difference in this world, we will be shown the path to make that happen.  The problem is not in finding the path, the problem is how we approach that trail to our desires.

In this video, Will Smith points out that we are always looking for the complex when really it is easy.  Sometimes, I wonder, if we make things difficult because we have the need to feel we deserve it, or do we just overlook the simplicity?

I have always been a fan of Will Smith.  I enjoy his work.  He is a master craftsman in his field of endeavor.  He has worked very hard to establish himself in a very competitive field.  When I saw this video, it all fell into place.  So many times we focus on those in Hollywood that have achieved success and then let it slip through their fingers because of a deadly flaw in their personality that made it possible for things such as drugs to take over and crush their success.  Those highly publicized bodies are strewn along the path of Hollywood successes and it colors our perception.

Will Smith is a thoughtful and determined man.  He has studied success for years.  He has found “the flow” of making it happen.  When someone finds “the flow”, and has the work ethic to make it happen, their endeavors can seem effortless.  The extraordinary thing that sets Will apart from others is his passion for sharing his knowledge of success.

There are many pearls of wisdom in this 10 minute video.  I have watched it several times. I took notes and most of all I enjoyed it. If you will do the same, I believe you will discover the “blueprint”. If you enjoy it, leave me a comment and pass it on.

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Zig Ziglar – Attitude Makes the Difference

December 15th, 2009 2 comments

Zig ZiglarPeople are the funniest beings.  They get attached to the strangest things.  One of the oddest things I have seen people get attached to is “drama”.  Not the kind of drama performers use to play a part  in a dramatic roles, or people who enjoy watching drama on TV.  I mean the people that have the attitude of drama.  There is always drama in their life.  It doesn’t matter what day you see them, they have new tales of woe to dump on you.

If you know people like that, you will probably agree, they drain your positive energy.  I have acquaintances that I thank God I have caller ID.  That sounds harsh, doesn’t it?  But, if you want to be truthful, you have some of those same acquaintances.  They are the people that once they have you in their sights, you are going to hear all the negative, pessimistic things that are presently going on.  Believe me, we all have things that we might not find uplifting happening in our own lives.  Why do these people only focus on the negatives?

They enjoy the attention.  That’s it.  They believe they will get your undivided attention if they can rattle off all their bad stuff.  Some people don’t realize they are doing it.  They can be second or third generation complainers.  They are products of negative environments.  They really don’t want to be released from it either, because they are comfortable with it.  Every time we listen to them talk about their drama we are fueling their obsession.

There are two ways to handle this situation.  You can work on helping them see their drama for what it is, negative energy and lack of gratitude.  You can handle them the same way Zig Ziglar does in this video.  Or, if you can’t change the people around you, you can change the people around you and keep an eye on that caller ID.

This is a great 9 minute video about how attitude makes the difference.  Feel free to pass it on.  Here’s the link to some of his material that you can use to start your own “Automobile University“.  Nightingale Conant is having a 25% off Christmas Sale!

Napoleon Hill – Success Principal #13 – Cosmic Habit Force

December 2nd, 2009 10 comments

I have been writing, lately, about the difference in how successful people think.  I have stated over and over again that they are wired differently.  They think differently.  Spending time with Napoleon Hill’s Success Principals has, probably, been more beneficial to me than to you.  I can’t express to you how much I have enjoyed listening to Napoleon Hill’s video series.  Because of this time I have spent listening to him, his writings have come alive for me.  I know his speech patterns, his voice, and the way he looks.  Now, as I am reading his book it is as if he is reading it to me.  It makes it more real for me.  I can see how Bob Proctor has spent his life studying “Think and Grow Rich”.  It never grows old.  I have always been a reader, but I read something and then go on to the next.  I know, now, that the goal of reading and studying “Think and Grow Rich” daily will keep me focused on the proper “Cosmic Habit Force”.

I believe, we all absorb information in our own way and time frame.  We have to fertilize the soil in our minds for it to be ready to accept the seeds of knowledge so it can mature and bear fruit.  What is fertilizer?  Yep, it is crap. Often times, it is the crap in our life that gives us the contrast to know what we want.  It is the crap that gives us the fuel to desire change and to escape the negative things that we attracted into our lives.  I have had many “aha” moments lately.  That is why, I believe, a habit of self improvement is so important to our growth in life.  It can, truly, enrich our life’s journey!

Today’s 10 minute video is the last in this series.  This one brings it all together as Napoleon Hill talks about Cosmic Habit Force. I have had my times of being locked into hypnotic rhythm.  Have you?  It was a prison cell of my own making. But, unlike other prison cells, I have been the one, standing there with the key to mine in my hand the entire time.

We are the only ones that can open those prison cells we create in our lives and fly to the destinations of our choice by using the natural law of Cosmic Habit Force.  It takes self discipline to watch and manage our thoughts.  Only self discipline can keep us out of the clutches of hypnotic rhythm.

I hope you have enjoyed this video series as much as I have.  If you feel so inclined, leave me a comment.  It would be wonderful to hear your feedback.  If you think that your network of “peeps” would enjoy it feel free to pass this blog around!  🙂