Self Improvement Information

Have you ever wondered why we humans have such a “love/hate” relationship with fear?  What do I mean by that?  Most people would do just about anything to stay a safe distance away from fear.  We really like our comfort zone. 

If that is so true, why do people like horror movies?  What about extreme sports?  Why would anyone want to jump out of a perfectly good plane or dive off a bridge to hang by their ankles from a little elastic band? Could there be an addictive element to fear?

When we experience fear we have at instant disposal some very strong substances; adrenaline, glucose, and other energy producing chemicals.  They are released directly into our bloodstreams.  They make our hearts pump faster.  They clear our brains.  It is the fight or flight response.  People who love extreme sports find the adrenaline rush quite compelling, perhaps addictive.

If that is the case, why do we have such an aversion to leaving our warm, cozy nests of our comfort zone and diving into what we fear?

Dr. Robert Anthony says, “The bodily sensations that go along with fear are something that we have come to label as “bad” and we want to avoid them at all costs.”  Yet, horror movies are some of the top sellers.  I sat and watched “Drag Me to Hell” last night and I enjoyed every horror filled moment!

There is a different kind of fear that most people perceive as being very uncomfortable, or bad, such as fear of failure or public speaking.  These are not only fearful, but bring on feelings of  unworthiness, doubt, anger, hurt and distrust (just to name a few).  Those are the emotions that have us diving for the comfort zone nest at lightning speed!

I was listening to Bob Proctor this weekend and I heard a quote that really hit home.  He said, “perception is your reality”.  Does that mean that if we could learn to perceive our comfort zone, fear, and all those other “bad” emotions differently we could overcome much of what holds us back?

Isn’t excitement a very close cousin of fear?  On a body level, don’t they release the same chemicals?  What if we could change our perception of leaving our comfort zone and feeling the fear to something exciting and motivational?  Even if we can’t stop feeling fear couldn’t we change our perception and use it to push forward towards success instead of using it to stop us dead in our tracks?  As Susan Jeffers said, “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

Let’s make a pact.  The next time we know we need to leave our comfort zone to do something we fear, let’s focus on the excitement.  Let’s look at it like a new adventure.  A chance to feel those brain clearing chemicals and do something extraordinary towards our success.

Here’s a small, less than 2 minute,video from Brian Tracy where he is talking about how to conquer  the fear of failure.  He gives some great advice and questions to ask ourselves.  If you found something valuable in this article please re-tweet!  That would make me smile!

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The life we live is dictated by the thoughts we habitually think.  Do you buy into that?  Many people, when they finally accept the fact that their thoughts determine what happens in their life, become overwhelmed by the idea of controlling their every thought.  That is when some people will throw up their hands and say, “This is too hard, I can’t do this!”

I think, a lot of people have had those same thoughts.  How can we go about thinking better thoughts?  As human beings, we were blessed with an emotional guidance system.  We differ from other animals on the planet because we can be proactive and not reactive using this system.  What is an emotional guidance system?

When we habitual think the same thoughts, we, humans, attach an emotion to those thoughts.  For an example, if we are always thinking the thought that we are not worthy of love, that thought is not in alignment with who we are.  When that thought is present, we feel bad, sad, hopeless, etc.  You get the picture.  The feelings that we attach to that thought is our emotional guidance system.  When we are thinking that thought about not being worthy of love the negative emotion is telling us that we are thinking a thought that is not who we really are.  I could give you the spiritual concept for saying that last statement, but let’s approach it from another angle.  If we humans were not worthy of love where would the human race be?  We would not crave social situations and loving interactions with other people. We would not form families, communities and Monday night football parties!  We would be content with the life of a sea sponge.  We would just sit and soak stuff up and not feel anything.

You are probably saying right now, “OK, Nan, I accept that.  How do I change my thoughts?”  Forcing change never gets where you want to go.  Have you ever noticed that when you try to force something it automatically grows stronger?  If I told you not to think of a yellow lemon and how sour that lemon is, what are you thinking about….a lemon?  The more I talked to you about the the bump peel and when you peel it you can smell the citrus aroma of the lemon.  I can tell you to stop thinking about the lemon.  I could shake you and yell into your face “stop thinking about the lemon!”  Are you still thinking of the lemon?  What you focus on grows.  Forcing causes resistance.

Here’s a few tips on how to use our emotional guidance system to change our thoughts.

1.  When you start to notice that you are feeling sad, depressed, or any other negative emotion, stop right away, and think about what thoughts you were having.  When you have figured out what the thought was that caused the negative emotion, ask yourself, “do I really believe that thought or am I letting my mind run a “crash and burn program”.  Are you, for some reason, punishing yourself or do you actually believe what you are thinking.  When we get into a negative loop of thought, our mind will bring up anything to continue that loop until we become completely frustrated or change our train of thought.

2.  Once you have isolated the thought that is causing you to feel bad, can you change it up so you feel just a little bit better?  If we can start moving our mind to better feeling thoughts we can climb out of the self defeating cycle of thoughts.  Compare the two thoughts;  “I hate not having any money.” versus “I am looking forward to when I have more money.”  Can you feel the difference? 

3.  Change the thought by changing your perception.  When feeling a negative thought, is there a way to change the way you view that subject that might produce a better feeling thought? For instances, “My father always criticizes my actions.” versus “I am glad my father loves me enough to tell me when I am behaving poorly.”

4.  Be careful of “I am”, “I have”, and “I always” statements to yourself.  Unless, you want that statement to be true.  Statements such as “I am broke.”, “I have heart problems.”, or “I always pick the wrong type of men to date.”  These are just a few examples.  Using these types of statements speak directly to your subconscious mind and your emotional guidance system.  When you combine that with emotion it is a powerful manifesting combination.

Once you have taken ownership of your thoughts, their responsibility in your life, and combined with understanding your emotional guidance system you are well on your way to manifesting the life you truly want.

For those of you that have been watching the countdown to Gary Ryan Blair, aka the Goals Guy, 100 Day Challenge, today is the day!  Gary has sent out some additional videos.  His video “The Real Price of Success” is amazing and thought provoking.  Did you know that you will pay a price?  Failure or success, the choice is yours.  Get signed up today.  You won’t want to miss it!  Click here to find out more!

There are still some open spots for the 7 day Goal Setting Course.  Easy deliver, right to your email box!  Check it out here!

When I was a young adult, the focus of my life was a lot different.  I was young and I was going to live forever.  I felt like I was immortal, not just in the spiritual way, but that I would never grow old and feeble.  I guess, what I am saying, is that I wasn’t so concerned with my “purpose” because I had so much time left.

The older I get, the more I realize that my purpose for my life is what I make it and why I am here.  My purpose here is not to “just have fun” like so many people and advertising agencies would like you to believe.  Life is more than that.  We all live interconnected lives.  We don’t live only for ourselves.  As I mature in life I realize that God gave us the emotion of happiness as a way of recognizing when we are moving in the right direction.  When something makes us happy, we want to do it again.  It is our souls way of giving us an “atta boy“.  You are being true to who you really are.

But is happiness what it’s all about?  I believe when we chase happiness, just like anything else it can elude us.  We are told by society that We are suppose to be “happy“.  So many things are sold to us to “make us happy” or cure us from unhappiness.   If we aren’t happy and we are depressed, then let’s change that by taking this pill.  I am not knocking depression.  Far from it.  I have been in spots in my life where I was extremely depressed.  But, in our chasing of happiness, do you think that we could possibly mistake the desire to be “happy” as our souls way of trying to find the need to be fulfilled?

When we pursue personal development or self improvement what are we wanting to accomplish?  Is it a desire to become better and grow closer to our own fulfillment? 

Have you ever noticed that we aren’t always willing participants in what life dishes out?  People react differently when life knocks them down.  Little did we know, when we are going through our tough times, there are people watching how we handle ourselves.  We can live our lives like an inspiration or we can choose to live it in quiet desperation.  I don’t know about you, but I want to leave a mark on humanity even if it is just a small group of people in my family.  I want the world to be a better place because I was here.

My grandmother was an inspiration to me.  She taught me so many things just by being the person that she was.  She has been gone now for over 30 years, but her legacy lives on through the values I saw her living.  She always kept this saying on her refrigerator.  The refrigerator is the message center of our lives.  It holds numbers we need to keep handy, pictures we want everyone to see and messages that says “this mean something to me“.  After her death I have read it many many times.  When I was younger I valued this saying because it was something of hers.  As I grow older, I value it because of what it says to me.  It is now very brittle and yellow and the words have become very faint.  I would like to share it with you. 

PROMISE YOURSELF
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. 
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. 
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. 
To wear a cheerful countenance of all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
 Christian D. Larson

As I grow older, the words mean even more to me.  Life can be an inspiration if you choose to live it that way.  I have included this amazing YouTube video for you about Team Hoyt.  When the video is over, leave me a comment on what value you found in the video and in this post.  Life is meant to be shared!

 Click here for the video!