Home > Personal Development, Positive Parenting > How Do I Practice Postive Parenting? Tip 3

How Do I Practice Postive Parenting? Tip 3

October 7th, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

booger childAre you a manipulator?  Most of us would love to say emphatically,  “heck no!”.  Is that true? Many people use a very manipulative tactic that gets passed down from generation to generation like grandma’s china in the china cabinet.  It is a family tradition.  This tool is one of the biggest failing in our quest for positive parenting.  We are sometimes unaware of this tactic when it used on us and when we are using it on others.  What is this great manipulating tool?  It is guilt.

Guilt is an emotion that is detrimental to our mental well being.  It causes many physical ailments and low self esteem.  It can be one of the biggest wedges a parent can drive between themselves and their children.  It is slow and pervasive like Creeping Charlie in our grass.  Before we realize it, it has taken over and smothered our relationships.  If we know this tactic is so damaging, why would we choose to use it on our children?

The reason is used is because it is a very efficient way to get someone to do what you want them to do, also known as control.  Is it so important that our children obey us that we are willing to use a destructive tactic on them to get our way?  But, did you realize that guilt is a two way street?

If we are really wanting to practice positive parenting and want to raise healthy well adjusted children that become productive adults, we must learn to let go of guilt.  Even the guilt we feel as parents.  Many people feel guilty for the time they are away from their children.  They feel guilt that they can’t provide their families with everything they would love to give them.  They feel guilty if they leave their children with a babysitter.  The biggest guilt women walk around with, every day, is leaving their children to go to work.  The list goes on, but I’m sure, you are probably catching the drift.

As a culture, we need to do ourselves a favor and practice “no guilt”.  Our homes should be a “guilt free zone”.  If you need or want to have a career, do it, and don’t feel guilty.  Our little blessings know when we feel guilty.  They realize how effective a tool it is and learn to use it on us very quickly.  Why do you think the 2 year old stands at the door and cries every time Mom or Dad leave? 

Guilt can become habitual.  It is a slow acting poison.  Most people would not choose to feed their family a daily dose of arsenic.  Why would we choose to feed our relationships a daily dosage of guilt?

The antidote to guilt is forgiveness.  None of us are perfect.  Forgiveness is powerful.  It is a gift from God.  To let go of guilt we must be willing to forgive ourselves and others.  It also means be willing to let go of the control guilt gives us.  Releasing it is freedom.  One of the best releasing tools I have ever found is the Sedona Method.  I use it whenever I need to give up damaging emotions of any kind.  It is easy to learn and easy to use.

The more positive parenting we practice the better the world will become.  One child at a time. 

Are you wanting to finish 2009 strong and kick 2010 into the stratosphere?  Are you tired of not having your dream life?  Then you need to learn to set effective goals.  Check it out!

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