Make Me Feel Special!
There seems to be a universal “thing” that we humans seem to have. It is something that not very many people acknowledge. Perhaps, not that many people realize that we have it. Or, do they perceive it as weakness?
Most successful people know about this. When you recognize this and heed its advice the world will open up for you. What is this “thing” I am talking about? This “thing” is that everyone has an invisible sign on their chest that says, “Make me feel special”.
This sign is not to be exploited. Unconsciously, we all know that we have this and any attempt to exploit this to possibly hurt or “have something on them” will be met with suspicion, distrust and animosity. If you are the kind of person who doesn’t really like people, you should stop right here and click on another post and forget about this one.
If you are the type of person that geniunely likes people, you probably already sense this. Everyone wants to feel special. Here are a few tips to honestly help others to feel special.
Make Eye Contact
There is a feeling among humans that if you can’t make eye contact with someone you are hiding something and should not be trusted. I don’t always believe this to be true, but I know that if someone can’t make eye contact with me I am not as comfortable with them. I have seen it happen many times in the businesses I have been involved with. Someone who habitually averts their eyes when they are talking with someone is instantly distrusted.
Pay Attention to What Someone is Telling You
This is the most abused social nicety. Many people, when someone else is talking, are not paying complete attention. They are thinking about what they are going to say next. This is a absolute no-no! Listen to them intently! They know when you aren’t listening. You will miss some little thing they have said that might change the whole complexity and direction of the conversation. At that point, you will have lost some of their trust. It is best to listen to them with your complete attention. Do not interrupt them. When they have stopped talking it is perfectly fine to pause to digest what they have said before answering.
Feed it Back to Them
In the conversation, it is helpful to feed some of the information that they have told you back to them. Questions of clarification are a good way to do this. If they are telling you about their children, ask questions that relate to what they are telling you. If they are telling you that Junior likes to play softball, ask “what position does he/she play?” This shows interest and that you are listening and paying attention to what they have been telling you.
Remember What They Told You
Here is a big one. Remember what they told you. I have been blessed with a very good memory. I work on it. I want to remember people’s names. That is important to me. If you aren’t good at remember names, try the repeat it 3 times trick. When you are introduced to someone say their name in conversation three times. For instances, “I am pleased to meet you, Bob.”, “Bob, how many children do you have?”, “Bob, I would like to introduce you to my friend, Sam”. When you use this technique, for heavens sake, make sure his name is Bob!
I enjoy people. I make a point to remember little things people tell me. When I remember something about them that they told me before, they know they matter to me. I have made them feel special.
I am sure you have heard the expression, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” Take some time to make someone feel special. As the wheel of life spins, “What goes around, comes around”.
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