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Why Can’t I Stick to My Goals?

January 11th, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Many of us have started our new year out with some pretty exciting goals.  As we are drawing them up, they excite us.  We know, if we can accomplish our goals for this year, we’ll be on way to having what we want!…Two weeks later, we’re dead in the water.

What happened to the excitement?  The “can do” attitude?  What happened to changing the world?

We get so down about it.  Feel like failures.  Why can’t we stick to our goals or resolutions?

When we fail to accomplish our goals, very rarely is it the fault of the goals we set.  If they were exciting to us when we set them, it would make sense the goals were right on the mark, just waiting to be accomplished.

The problem lies in us and our self image.  Most of us are, literally, prisoners to the idea of what others think about us.  Instead of forming a clear mental picture of who we really are, we accept the picture others have of us. We are only a waitress, a bricklayer, a fireman, a housewife….you fill in the blank because I know you have heard all of it before.

Because we are pack creatures, and need to get along with others to survive, we will do whatever we have to do to be accepted by them. We allow others to tell us who we are, and what we can accomplish in life.  In other words, our identity.  We haven’t reached our goals because our identity trumps goals any day of the week!

To add to this picture we carry around of ourselves, we add all the mistakes we’ve made, and most importantly, how people react to us when we made them.

Have you ever made a decision to do something, then made the mistake of telling others what you were going to do.  Did the people around you say, “you’ll never do that”, “people like us don’t have success like that”, “you’ve already tried _______, and look where it got you”.  Sound familiar?  At this point, we tuck our tails between our legs and creep away, goals forgotten.

If we are, really, wanting to achieve our goals, we’ll need to change what we think of ourselves, aka self image.  Have you ever heard of BDH?  It stands for Be it, Do it, Have it.

When preparing goals, it’d be better to work it backwards.  Who would I have to be to have this goal in my life?  How would that person accomplish this goal?

It’s as if you’re seeing yourself in a different way, and what your life would look like if you had the goal in your life.  Who do you have to become on the inside to support having the goal?

Until we change our self image to match our goals, our goals will remain outside of our reach.  As a wise man once said, “never let what’s most important to become a slave to what’s least important.  What’s most important is how I see me, what’s least important is what others think.”

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